This morning I dropped off my 5 year old at pre-school and went to the market. I have a handi-capped parking permit (I call it my crip tick) but I rarely use it. As long as I park near the carriages I am OK. This morning it is raining and there was just one carriage and it was wet. I decided to be brave and take the chance of walking into the store without support. I made it in OK but when I went to reach for a dry carriage I had to step on the slick floor. I slipped but I managed not to fall. Unfortunately, anytime I come close to falling or even get nervous about it I "lock up" so to speak. It took several minutes but I finally started to relax enough to do the shopping.
At the moment I slipped the first thing that went through my mind was "I forgot my cell phone!" I don't dare leave the house without it. Not even to walk my 8 year old the 100 yards down the road to the bus stop. I had to charge it this morning and I forgot it. I am afraid to be in public without my husband to hold onto me. Or to go to a store without being able to hold the carriage to keep me from falling if I trip. Taking my kids to the park where I have to walk on grass in treacherous. The last time I fell at the bus stop my poor 8 y/o son was horrified. There wasn't anyone around to see us but he was totally embarrassed. "C'mon Mom, get up!"
As I left the market this morning I thought about how wonderful it's going to be to not have to feel that fear any longer. My attitude has changed since I got back from Chicago and was told I can have this treatment. Now, instead of being so nervous about falling all the time I think more along the lines of "it's OK, it wont last forever!"
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Jane, this is a wonderful change to look forward to! I'm sorry about your scare this morning ... that must be frightening.
ReplyDelete... and just in case you might enjoy hearing this ... other people, those of us without MS, fall, too ... my turn was today in the garage ... I was opening the hatchback to load my recyclables and giant bag of garbage to take to the dump ... I tripped (which I so often do) on the trailer hitch, fell right over ... onto the giant bag of garbage!!! It cushioned my fall!!! ... now I just have a bruised shin, a rust stain on my Levis, and a slightly bruised ego (but that will pass quickly). So next time you need a good laugh, picture me falling onto my garbage! :)
Anne