Last night was kind of a rough night. I am hooked up to fluids continuously and can never make it to the bathroom in time. I have to urinate every 15 minutes or so. I was finally unhooked at about 11 15PM but still didn't have all the extra fluid out of me. I also ended up with a fever -100.5- so even that slight temp rise made my walking that much worse. I was pretty depressed today until Dr. Balabanov came in and gave me quite the pep talk. I got up and visited another woman that is on the same schedule as I and hung out in the family area for a little bit. Boredom is a problem. I'm tired all of the time, too, so I want to sleep but I can't. Getting mighty homesick.
My counts are down a little but platelets still OK. I had to have a chest X-ray a little while ago because of the fever. I ate more than usual this morning which isn't much. That's about it for now. Thanks for the emails.
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Jane:
ReplyDeleteit's completely normal to be depressed when your body is that stressed. Expect it. Hang in there and remember how many people are rooting for you! The end is in sight! You WILL make it through this and be happier on the other side. You are a brave, determined person. You have a wonderful life to go back to when you are healthy again. Your life as a wife, mother and dynamic individual will only get better. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! DC
I suspect that hanging out with the other woman who is at your stage of treatment may have helped to put some of this in perspective for you. Still, it is never easy feeling sick and being away from your family and friends. Be honest with Andy and the kids when you video conference next and let them know this is hard but very worth it. Kids, especially need to see us do things that are difficult but that produce rewards. It strengthens their work ethic and helps them through tough things at school and relationally.
ReplyDeleteI hope with the fever they have done a urine culture. Your urine is probably so dilute from all the fluids that they may need to let it "cook" for a couple extra days to see if anything is there that might be causing the fevers.
Everything that you describe, I can relate to. And I can tell you with certainty that you will get through this because I know you to be strong and not a quitter. From today through Monday or so you will probably not feel great but my guess is that starting the first of next week, you'll level off and start to rally.
Holding you gently and firmly.
Jane- You may be feeling ill, physically, but as long as your mental state is strong, it will most definitely have a positive influence on your healing body. Buddha says so :) There may be no better remedy than hope. You are a strong woman, and loved and supported by so many good friends and family....We are all thinking of you and sending positive, healing thoughts your way...
ReplyDeletexoxox
renee